Minsk agreement
by Sjeherazade
Summary: I was trying to write about the Ukrainian conflict for a school assignment a while ago but it seemed quite hard to understand. One thing that seemed most strange to me was the choice of Minsk for signing the peace document - one day I decided to think Hetalia and see what happened and after that it all seemed so obvious. Don't want to laugh - don't read Rated for political issue


A / N I was trying to understand the dispute between Ukraine-Russia-Crimea for a school assignment some time ago, but I found it very difficult. One thing that I didn't understand was why they selected Minsk for signing the peace agreement. Then I came up with the idea to test what would happen if I let the Hetalia-characters go through it instead - and suddenly everything seemed so "obvious".

BTW - I wrote this fanfiction in the quiet area at the library and when I got to the point in history where Ukraine signed the agreement I began to laugh so much that I was asked to leave.

Also sorry for my poor english, I'm doing my best but I'm not a native english speaker so there will be mistakes.

And I don't own Hetalia

Enjoy

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 **"The truth behind the attempt to solve the conflict in Ukraine - Hetalia"  
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It all began when Belarus was trying to sleep, something she had not done properly for several weeks because of a lot of things that she felt that she needed to do.

This particular night she had not come to bed until 2 o'clock in the morning. By that time she was quite tired and irritable because of her lack of sleep.

But tonight she was actually very pleased with himself. She had gotten very much done this week and now she finally felt that she really deserved to sleep a little.

The problem was only that she was a bit irritable from the lack of sleep, which made it hard to rest and fall asleep. It got a little easier when she settled into her bed and pulled her big warm blanket over herself though, yet a little easier when she lit out the lights... eventually Belarus was actually falling asleep…

…Only to be woken up again by a howling sound outside the window which made her sit up in bed and turn on the light again. Only seconds later she heard the sound of an explosion and then the howling sound disappeared. All this reminded Belarus on something she had certainly known for months, but also something she had decided to ignore – the fact that her older brother and sister had decided to behave as if they were five years old again.

It was with an almost surreal feeling that Belarus got out of her bed and went forward to the window, as she angrily threw her pillow at the wall to let some anger out, even though she knew it would not help. She opened the window and stuck her head out.

"Hey, can you two please stop throwing bombs right now, do you know what time it is?" She yelled out the window before she closed it again. What was the time? She had not checked, as far as she knew. But it was still obvious that none of her older siblings knew about the time either. She didn't even know how long she had slept before she heard the bomb.

Then Belarus turned the light on and saw that the clock was half past four in the morning and realized that she could hear the rockets outside, a little further away admittedly but still.

"Come on!" Belarus growled to herself. Then she went back to the window to retrieve the pillow that she had thrown away. She realized that if she would get any sleep at all that night, she had to have that cushion rather hard pressed to her ears.

The next morning Belarus was, understandably not at her very best mood and she wasn't going to let Ukraine and Russia rest until they knew exactly how she felt. Therefore, she had phoned them at seven o'clock and basically demanded that the two would come over. Two hours later, they sat in separate chairs in her living room while Belarus indignantly walked back and forth on the floor.

"Dear brother and sister!" Belarus began her lecture "Do you know that I woke up half past three this morning by the noise from your rockets?" Belarus did not give the others time to answer before she continued "WHY CAN'T YOU AT LEAST STOP BOMB EACH OTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP AT THAT TIME IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT! "

There was silent for a few seconds before Russia decided that he dared ask a question.

"But Bela, you've never had anything against bombs before?" Belarus did not need much reflection to answer that question.

"NOT AT HALF PAST FOUR AT THE MORNING!"

Neither Russia nor Ukraine dared to question Belarus at that, which resulted in a new silence, which Belarus used to take out a 20 meters long paper that she rolled out in front of her older siblings.

"Therefore I have arranged an agreement that the two of you will sign!" she explained.

"I'm not signing anything!" Russia replied more or less reflexively. But Belarus had predicted that so she knew exactly how she would take care of that problem. Russia had hardly made the refuse before he had Belarus's face dangerously close to his own.

"Marry me, marry me, marry me!" The reaction came basically immediately.

"OKAY I GET IT!" The next moment, Russia had actually got out a pen and signed the agreement.

What happened after that, however, was something that Belarus had not anticipated. Ukraine refused to sign.

Belarus thought little bit about it. Negotiation had never been her greatest talent, but now it seemed as if she must make an effort, so she turned to Ukraina and said the first thing she could come up with, hoping to get even her sign – unfortunately Belarus had not thought of this possibility so now she must try to improvise.

"Ukraine, if you sign it I promise not to carve my name into your car." But that offer was not the best to win over Ukraine.

"Are you threatening me little sister?"

"Yes!" Replied Belarus, glad that Ukraine had understood that fact so quickly. But at the same time Belarus also understood that she must try something better if she would succeed. "If I promise to stop overturn your cows with the milk car then?" At that offer Ukraine became almost angry.

"IS IT YOU WHO ARE DOING THAT!" She yelled and stood up so the chair flew to the floor. Russia pretended to get a coughing fit to hide that he laughed. Both him and Belarus had learned early it was not a good idea to laugh when Ukraine was in this mood. Belarus had noted this danger too so she decided to change tactics.

"If I tell America to stop swimming in your aquarium then?" If Ukraine had been mad before that comment, it was nothing to what she was after.

"YOU WILL TELL AMERICA TO STOP DOING WHAT?!" At that both Belarus and Russia signed in relief. Ukraine had found something else to focus her anger on. Belarus went to the door and opened it, then she stuck her head out through it and shouted.

"Estonia, can you come here for a moment?" A few seconds later a very nervous person walked through the door to hear what Belarus wanted.

"Yes?"

"Would you like to hack Kiev's security cameras?" Estonia initially looked as if he did not understand the question so Belarus chose to clarify it for him. "Come on, we all know you can do it" Estonia sighed.

"Okay then"

After a minute at the computer Estonia had managed to get into the system and could display images on a screen on the wall.

"We want to see Ukraine's aquarium" Belarus explained and gave Estonia the information he needed to get there.

Ukraine had a huge aquarium that she had received as a birthday present a few years ago, it was so big that it went through several rooms. At first, everything seemed completely normal, only fish everywhere. But suddenly something else appeared, a diver: Since Belarus forgot to turn the sound of the computer last time she used it, they could also hear the sounds when the diver exhaled bubbles in the water through his equipment. The diver seemed completely unaware that eight pairs of eyes had suddenly started to observe him, and then suddenly they could hear something else, through an exhalation the diver let out a monotonous noise that sounded very much like "DUUUUUUUDE" through a lot of bubbles.

One second after this both Estonia, Russia and Belarus was lying on the floor and writhed with laughter. Ukraine, however, was cursed.

"What is it that is so funny!" She yelled without any of the other three being able to stop laughing, and she continued. "SERIOUSLY, THIS MAN IS DIVING IN MY AQUARIUM!" She exclaimed. Then even Ukraine heard how utterly crazy this actually sounded and then, before she could stop it, she had begun to laugh just like everyone else.

Several hours later, when they had all stopped laughing, Ukraine signed the agreement. But she was not going to let Belarus tell America to stop dive in the aquarium. Ukraine preferred to catch him the next time, Belarus had said that he did this a little now and then, so sooner or later Ukraine would get that opportunity and she actually looked forward to seeing his face when she caught him.

The end

Ok, it's maybe not more obvious but it sure is a lot more fun…


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